Well, for me it is anyway.
I say love is a choice for me because I choose to love my husband on his bad days. I choose to stand by him even when our chips are down and our life together isn't rosey. I do this because I know that under all this superficial layer of stress and worry, I love him and he loves me. The rest will come and go - but our love will be there under it all.
I don't expect every day to be perfect. I don't expect that he will always be on his best behaviour. At times will say things that may not be nice. I try to ignore these things because I know that he loves me. I also know that I am not perfect. I know that there are times when I will snap and take it out on him, and I pray that at those times he will choose to ignore my faults - and choose to love me despite them.
The way I see it, is that in a relationship your other half is your soft place to fall. When things are good it is easy to be happy, love will be in abundance and the relationship seems to be effortless. When things get tough, it takes alot out of relationship and this is when it takes work to keep things moving. The rewards for moving through the bad times back into good are priceless though, so its well worth the effort.
I actively work on our relationship every day. I can not control his actions, but I can control my own. I make sure that I give him a kiss and cuddle and tell him I love him every morning before he leaves for work. I do this because its important to me that he is reminded of this, just incase, God forbid, the worst happens. I want him to never forget that I love him. I try to never go to bed angry, that just makes things worse for me.
Another way that I actively work on our relationship is that I do things for him. I get up and I make his coffee and his lunch for the day every morning. I do not do these things for him because I am his 'slave', but I do these things as an act of love towards him. I know that doing these things make him happy, and I am only to happy to do that for him. I am a stay at home mum, and I feel my job is to keep the house running. I do these jobs out of love too. I am very thankful that he carries the financial burden of family so that I can be the wife and mother I had always dreamed of being.
What he does for me I can not put into words. He loves me completely. He makes me feel safe and secure when I'm scared. He makes me feel beautiful when I'm feeling fugly. He was my rock when I lost my father to cancer. He stands tall and supports me and our family from attacks. He puts up with my ramblings even though he has never been a 'talker' (I never shut up ;)). When my over active imagination takes my mind to 'bekkyland', he is there to pull me back to earth. He is defiantly the Man of this house, strong and dependable.
Of course a marriage isn't one sided, but I can only do my best to make sure I keep up my end of the bargain. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
And heck, it isn't that hard when you sit back and think about it.... Because in the end - I love him, and he loves me... and as long as this is still true, the rest doesn't matter.